It's close to the tears and hugs full of embracing one another while we're saying good bye. As I'm typing this, tears kinda stung my eyes, but it went away. I'm going to miss everyone so much! I'll be leaving next year to go to another school, though this will always still be my school. It's sad to think we're all growing up, all getting our licenses and stuff. The next thing we know, we'll be graduating all together. It'll be fun to laugh back at the times from the past. This sophomore year was crazy. I can't believe it.
I've changed A LOT this year. I don't even know where to start. From my looks by my hair, make up. Then there's my personality. I've become stronger as a person, matured up though I'm still immature at times. I miss the past. The old me. But I've become a whole 'nother person this year. Last night I went back into the past and read messages, comments, etc on my Myspace account. I really have changed into a more serious person I believe. This year changed me. All my actions have made me who I am today.
This year I struggled a lot. Stressed out like hell, broke apart, breaking down when I didn't know what else to do. That's never happened to me kinda.. But I feel like this year was meant to be in my life to show me what's out there in life. What I have to do, change my mistakes and stuff. If that makes sense. I struggled with my life, with school, people, you get the deal. This year was my first year I had a problem with school. I have my usual times where I get frustrated but this year I struggled like C R A Z Y in geometry. Not only academically but also with my life with my circle of friends and everything. This year showed me so much stuff, I can't express this enough. But even so, I appriciate it. I learned who my real friends were, how sometimes friends fight and just can't even be friends anymore. I learned about my mistakes as a person, how I need to shape up. I learned how to grow up, how to cook. This year was all about learning. Even though I told everyone how much I hated sophomore year, I'm thankful for it. I got something out of it that I didn't realize till around now. I guess that's what high school's for. You learn something new. Not just everyday, but also something like a lesson in maybe a year. But I'll always remember my sophomore year. :p
Overall I'm glad I got to spend it with the people in my 2013 class. They're all funny people, English & History wouldn't be the same without them. For all my other classes, they all weren't ones that I favored, but I love those 2 classes. Special thanks to those who know who they are. Thank you so much for helping me this year! <3
This week has been all talk about my school's prom. A bunch of people have told me that it was lame. Others told me it was fun. But one thing they all say it that it was memorable. That's great, I'm glad everyone had a fun time. Next year I'll be a junior sooooo I'm able to go into our prom. I'm still thinking on whether or not I should attend.
I kinda want to go, I think it'd be fun no matter what. If I go, I have to get a dress and everything. I'd do my hair myself, I don't trust other people doing it. They'd probably do it wrong. Then there's my nails which my cousin is great at, so oh yeah! Free nails. lol I don't like all that plastic crap really, I just like painting it and stuff. Then there's the dress. I have no idea. I think I'll stick with a short one perhaps junior year then senior year go all out like crazy and have a nice gown.
Isn't it crazy how some things can just mess up so easily? When you try your hardest and what you get back in return is nothing but discomfort. Your just piled more with confusion, maybe you'll get hurt along the way. Who knows? But the thing is that whatever happens, at least you know you tried. That's ONE thing you can't dwell on.
It's a weird way how everything works some times. You just don't know what's coming until it actually hits you in the face. Then that's when realization kicks in to slap you with reality. And haha, yeah, it's basically beating you up because you were blind enough not to even see it in the first place. But some things you can't see with the naked eye. You can't hear because you don't understand, and you can't feel because you it didn't mean anything to you.
One thing I really hate is confusion. It makes me feel out of place, like I shouldn't even be in that position in the first place. I'm the type of person who likes things done when I want them, no excuses. When something stands in my way, I fight past it, whatever the obstacle is, there has to be a solution, am I correct? So when I have a problem and it starts to confuse me, it feels as if i'm mentally beating myself up trying to fix things. Like myself, trying to find out what's wrong and what can make myself better. But in the long run it's worth it because if I work and try hard enough, then I'll hopefully get the results I want.
Misunderstandings can lead to something so painful. Happiness can be taken away so quickly. But yet if people try to work things out and just try, I'm pretty sure they can find it again. Happiness is a funny thing. Because it can be in any forms. Really happy, like nothings wrong, but you know, that can't always last. Or maybe it's the happy where it's just 50/50. Your only halfway there. Or the most painful one where your just partially holding happiness. That one hurts so much.
If people were happy once before, it goes on with the saying you can do it again. It may be different, but nothing ever stays the same. It changes. Like us. And by how people change, then their happiness will change, right? But if people want to be happy, then they can make it happen. It may take time, but if someone is truly commited in trying to, then I can think they can be.
But with misunderstandings. Maybe perhaps other people don't see how hard you try to be happy. And when things start to fall into pieces, then that's what causes the pain. Because the situation is like the other person thinks differently. Even if they wanted the same thing, they try differently, or have a different pace of how things are to be wanted. That's so hard. Because if they're both working towards the same goal, then it's going to take time and they should work together. At least make a compromise.
Happy New Year everyone! It's the Cambodian, Laos, and Vietnamese new year this week. :D It lasts for 3 days, longer than the American version of New Years. It's so much fun and so festive around this week. It's in April every year. Sadly I forgot the date, :( but it is always around the 20th something.
Every year at this time, my parents get ready for the event. They get food out and clean the house, etc. Normal rituals. Then they set out the food for the dead. So when we sleep, it's kinda as if were telling them to rest in peace, eat up, and just yeah, enjoy the treats we give them. It's fun in a creepy kind of way. Haha.
One of the optional things to also do is to make a visit to the local temples. There, you go and give some food to the monk, I think rice but I'm not 100% sure. And then you do some kind of praying. That's suppose to give you good luck for the year or whatever, I'm not really sure because every time I do go to the temple, I always just run off with my friends to hang out since we don't go to the same school. lol It's like a gathering. But it's fun!
Laos New Years^
Next week will finally be my spring break! :D I can't wait. I want school to be over with as soon as possible, I'm tired of sophomore year. I hate this year so much, it's way too stressful and I can't take it anymore! A break from this year will be so much fun, awesome, great, any good word.
This year, my classes have been too much, like I'm TIRED of everything in it. Especially in geometry. Now I don't have a problem with learning, I do enjoy it. But learning geometry has been such a struggle. I don't find it hard, somewhat, but it's the way perhaps i'm being taught or maybe I just need more help with it. I don't know.
I don't enjoy biology at all. It's boring! I'm not a science person at all. So I want my break to come so I can just break away from it all. I need a break, and I love spring, what could be better? Oh yeah, summer break. That way, I wouldn't have school. Yay. -__-
This week on this Friday, we watched a clip about these boys called the "Lost Boys". Now these aren't the boys from Peter Pan. These boys are real survivors and are somewhat in hiding. They are trying to go from a different country all the way to another! And they are all mostly under the age of 13! That's crazy!
When I watched this video, it made me sad. And I'm sure i'm not the only one who got that emotion from watching it. These children at the time were so young, and so skinny. Knowing the fact that they have to run away from danger, without guidence from their parents, or any family members whatsoever is just so heartbreaking. It's not fair to them and to what they had to go through. This journey they took as like a walk through their own nightmares.
As most people know, today it's been a natural disastor. It's horrible! In Japan a huge, terrible tsunami hit Japan. :( And it's suppose to be having bad effects to Hawaii and also California... I'm scared. And also worried. I have family in both places. And then there's my boyfriend's family in Japan. Luckily they weren't hit though.
It's dumb how the Earth is able to do this. And I don't know why it would want to in the first place. This is just horrible. I hate this! Though so far not a lot of people have died as bad as it was for Chile. And this is a really bad earthquake. A 8.9! That's recorded in history now! And I've been looking at the photos and watching videos on CNN. Scary.
Why today? On my day for my geometry exam too. I hate geometry. Already stressing enough and now I have to worry. Life is just so unfair sometimes. I hope that everyone whose having to experience this is okay. I wish this wasn't even happening.
Have any of you guys been stressed out to the point that nothing makes any sense whatsoever? As of right now, I'm going through that. There are so much stuff that needs to be done. Yet I feel I don't have enough time for everything! School is almost coming to an end, but the most important part of the year is coming up.
Next week are OGTs! I'm somewhat worried, but yet then again, I have a nervous feeling i'll be okay. Every one says it's so easy. But everyone sees things differently. So I'm afraid that even though it is easy for everyone else, what about me? What if I don't pass? There are so many "what if" questions running through my mind.
To add into these tests, I need so much other things done. I don't even know what I want for next year. My head is killing me all the time, and I lose sleep trying to figure out what to do next. My mind is constantly wandering around trying to figure out what I should do. I'm hoping that next year will be okay, I really don't want it to be as or even more stressful as I am right now at this point. Hopefully things will be okay. :/
Today's topic is about the country Egypt. I'm not really familiar with the country, I barely know much of it besides what I've learned from 7th grade when we really learned about it. It's really interesting actually, especially when it gets to the part about what they did to create a "mummy". Now with the history, I'm not so clear with it, my mind is fuzzy. But also again, it's interesting. For example, Cleopatra. That's some crazy story!
Recently in the news they were having some kind of talk about some guy resigning. I have no idea what's going on. Bad for me, since I should keep up to date with world news. -__- But anyways, back to what I was going into. I guess somebody who not a lot of people liked or something said that he wasn't going to leave. And then the next day, he did the total opposite. I wonder what made him change his mind...
When I think of that country, I also think of the song "Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls. I love that song! And it has that Egyptian feel to it. That's one of the things I admire about the country. It has it's own kind of style. Like when you see something and you automatically know it's from Egypt. If I was to say Pharaoh, mummy, locus, pyramids, what do you think of? Every single time, it's the country Egypt.
As I've said before you guys, I'm going to keep you guys updated! :) So with my dancing, I'm working on a new move! ;) Fun fun, but super difficult. Though I really need help with footwork, I'm so lazy to do drills, but I will start in due time. I want to session with either Michelle or Ryota. Ry because he's my boyfriend, and he's a talented dancer. :D He knows his footwork. And with Michelle because she's a bgirl too, and she's the only other dancer here that I notice actually trys to do things. Instead of just saying they can and not showing anything.
Well my main point of my blog today is that I'm working on my airbaby. One of my hardest freezes yet! But then again, it's getting accomplished each day. I don't remember when I started working on them, maybe since last week. I want to get this freeze down! Though I'm not sure how to transition into it while dancing, but I'll find out because there has to be a way since everyone who can do, does it.
I feel that I'm doing it right and also wrong; I lean in forwards a bit too much I'd say. I'm trying to do it with both hands since I can't balance on one alone unless I'm in airchair position. Plus, it's forward, I've never done a freeze like that and this is different too. But I think that even if this is wrong for now, I'm learning where to place my knee on my elbow. But i'm scared that if I keep doing this, I won't know how to get back into the actual right position, like I'll be stuck. SIGH. Hopefully things to well!
This year was my first year at the Ohayocon! :D For those of you who don't know, Ohayocon is an anime convention. This was probably the most interesting yet of my year 2011. Every one whose gone there is always like excited to go back there once again. It's only happens 3 days a year and I don't know much because this was my first year going. But it's a fun place, it's basically a place that people all get together, chill and talk about the games or shows that they enjoy.
Because this was my first year, I didn't even know what to expect. And I must say, I was wowwed. Almost about everybody dresses up as their favorite character. Molly and I were going to dress up, but we didn't because we just couldn't decide what to wear! I'm actually glad we didn't though because our costumes would have been lame compared to the others. They were amazing. There was like about everything you could think of, there was even the dough boy! :D
The main reason I went was to go to the Rave. Raves are basically a party like type of place. You dance along to techno, any fast beat song and you have glow sticks. It's all in the dark and everyone has a great time there. Unfortunately I didn't even go though that was the main reason I went besides going to go and hang out with Ryota. I just gave Molly my pass (you need a pass to get into events) to go dance. But no matter what next year, I'm going to that rave. And possibly even work there next year. ;)
Yes! Finally a topic on one of the things I love, music! I think that everybody has a love for music, they just have to find the right type they enjoy. :) There are so many genres out there, it shouldn't be hard to find at least 3. Now for me, I love love love loveeeee music that can make me dance, it's upbeat, and has at least a good beat. The main music I probably listen to is japanese pop.
I have no idea why I enjoy their music. I'm going to guess and say because most of the time it sounds happy, and they experiment with a lot of instruments, creating a different kind of song that what you would usually hear. And of course, there's always the voice has to be great. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy American music too. It's probably in the top 5 of what I listen to. Besides that, I listen to German, Korean, Taiwainese, Chinese, Thai, Khmer, etc. I like a lot of Asian music, I don't know why.
My favorite artist will have to Kumi Koda. She's a japanese singer and she does a lot of up beat music. My favorite song would have to be "Taboo" or her "Driving" remix. If you guys ever want to listen, just let me know. My Ipod is filled with her voice. I can't really find anybody who listens to Japanese music at this school either. I'd say there's about only 2 people who really listens to it, which includes me. :p But my favorite artist is Kumi. Not only is she my favorite, but she's also my role model. Someday I wish to be successful as her! :)
